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How to Embrace Change and Live by Design

Change. It affects us all. Whether financial or related to our health, relationships, career, or anything else, how we handle change matters. Our perspective can make us anxious and out of sorts or propel us forward. 

On a recent episode of the Kim Gravel Show, Kim explored effective ways to manage anxiety during transitions—and how to look at change as an opportunity for growth. She and Zac also shared strategies to help you shift from a reactive mindset to one that embraces challenges as steps toward your higher purpose. 

“A satisfied life is one that is not growing,” Kim said. “If you are going through a change and you’re feeling anxiety or that ‘undoneness,’ that’s a good place to be” (because it means you’re being propelled forward).

How do you ensure you’re growing rather than getting caught up in anxiety? As you experience change and go through transitions, make sure you’re living life by design. 

Kim described some of the changes she’s going through now: her business is expanding into more categories, her professional relationships are changing, the world is changing, and politically, we’re in a moment of change (as of the podcast episode in fall 2024). Kim’s oldest son was preparing to move out and be on his own.

In general, Zac said, when we encounter change, “We are so much more afraid of losing what we have than we are about gaining something else.” 

Kim agreed. 

That’s why in many cases, Kim said, people don’t embrace change—they won’t say it’s good, even if it is. For example, if someone is buying a new house they love, they still face a lot of anxiety as they go through the home-buying and move-in process. 

“There is anxiety associated with change, whether it’s good, bad, or indifferent,” Kim said. “If you’re getting married, that’s a change. But I’ve never met a bride or groom who wasn’t stressed to the max. You’ve been diagnosed with something. That’s a change.” 

A scripture in the Bible says, “He’s taking us from glory to glory to glory.” 

“When you’re talking about going from glory to glory to glory, what happens in between?” Kim said. “It’s a lot of change.” 

Going through change can be beneficial, Kim said. It can make you stronger and more successful, and nine times out of ten, you end up with a better appreciation of life and you feel like there are new possibilities. But as you’re going through a transition, you often experience a sense of being undone or unsettled—which can cause anxiety because “we, as humans, want it to be settled.” 

If you’re changing, you are going to grow, Kim said, but inevitably, growth comes with growing pains.

Although humans’ default is often to be reactive to change, Kim suggests taking a different approach: “Be deliberate to manage the change that comes to you.” 

The most optimum place to live from is by design.

When you’re facing change—and the anxious, unsettled feelings that come with it—create a vision, choose a direction, and shift your perspective. 

Kim said that when you’re looking at your life from a life-by-design perspective, it’s easier to think of change as part of God’s divine plan for your life … his provision for something that’s coming. A person who has this kind of vision for their life does not deal with anxiety on a constant, habitual basis.  

“What is the legacy you want to leave? What are you designed to be?” Kim said. “Stop looking at outside things to make your purpose and your life mean something.” 

This perspective can help you become a person of legacy—because you show up in the world in a way that is on purpose.

When you can step back and ride the wave of change, look at the situation in a big-picture way, as expansion rather than shrinkage, as part of God’s design for your life, you can align your life with His plan for you and become even closer to your purpose. 

Kim explained that she’s had so many experiences of sudden change that makes her shift … for the better. The research supports that: “Up to 70 percent of people who experience positive psychological growth come from difficult times in life changes.” 

How does this work in real life? 

“Say you have a flat tire on your car,” Kim said. “What happens in your mind when you have a flat tire? Does the anxiety kick in?” 

Zac said it does, momentarily. Kim said that when you can move from that reactive state into a planning and action state, you can ease your anxiety. If you were on your way to a meeting, you’d call and explain that you’d be late. Then you’d call roadside service and maybe even pull out your spare tire.

“If you think of that change or challenge from a mindset of design,” she said, “you go, ‘Hmm. There’s a reason this happened. Obviously, it wasn’t meant for me to be there on time.’” 

This way of thinking can apply to any situation—a career change, the end of a friendship, or even an illness. 

When you can zoom out and take a 30,000 viewpoint, you can show up in the world in a clear, directed way, Kim said. 

“I don’t care what kind of change you’re going through. I want you to look at it through the eyes of the design and through the eyes of the designer who designed you for a specific, wonderful, impactful thing. What is your legacy, and how is this change coming in your life, moving you more towards the legacy that you’re going to leave and how you show up in the world?”  

Whatever you’re going through now, look at it as a blessing and direction. Learn from this. Look for what the change or challenge is trying to show you. What is it designed to teach you? Change propels you forward … as long as you look at it from the perspective of life by design.

The Kim Gravel Show is a top women’s lifestyle podcast where Kim shares her message of confidence and encouragement with a side of laughter and fun. The show features inspiring, topical conversations with thought leaders, CEOs, and celebrities tailored to give listeners the insight they need to help them discover their purpose, find their confidence, and love who they are. In each episode, Kim tackles the topics that women care about in a way that will make you laugh, make you think, and help you see your life in a new, more positive way.

The Kim Gravel Show is a celebration of the stories that shape us. It's about laughing together and not taking ourselves too seriously. It's about the wisdom we've gathered and the hardships we've overcome. It's about looking at the woman you see in the mirror and remembering that she is beautiful inside and out. This is a show about remembering that no matter what you’ve been through you can love who you are right now.

Y’all, life is hard, but we can do it together.